caught in the symmetry of your mind

Did I really see you or was it a dream?
Dreaming that it was seamless,
not a trace of wrong words that we have spoken
Little did we know, no bigotry, no tears shed
Oh only you'd try to be polite, thinking you were right
Only to find that you're unkind
But ironically you will always be belle of the ball, at least to me

elope with me

I know I'm going to hate it without you, and it sucks to even think of a time where it wouldn't be me and you. I only hope you feel the same about me.

we're going place you've never dreamed about

Despite everything, I still believe that I'm lucky to have met you and to have been where we were and to go where we are going

the end comes too soon

Time is passing by waaay too quickly. It's almost coming to the end of the week, but it has yet to really sink in that #japan2014 is happening so soon. In the midst of dissertations and dentals and general anxiety, I've still managed to squeeze in crazy time. Excellent. This week's breakdown is brought to you by your general stubbornness and the mounting pressures of moving in together, so to speak. The true problem is that I'm all up in my head, imagining what it'll be like to be cramped into a tiny room with nowhere to go where you are not. I am excited for it, I truly am, but there are great worries. I know my anxieties have a tendency to get the better of me, but some part of me truly believes that it's getting better because of you.

Our summer out west, our summer of sex
Our summer just gets better

tell me your favourite things

Two more weeks to Tokyo City. By this time in a fortnight, we'd be on the plane (unfortunately) outward bound. It's scary what has become of the world and I truly hope that nothing of that sort happens to me, or to anybody really. The last week has seen me catching up with good old friends and thinking and talking about the future. It seems like nothing much has changed since last year, yet instead of running from my past as per before, I'd be running from the blinding glare of my supposedly bright future. Right. Maybe the problem with me is that I'd likely pick money every time. Proof: my poor taste in boys. And I say boys.. because when people say age doesn't matter, what they really mean is that they're just gonna act however they want DESPITE their age. What is 25 after all, except you know, you've lived more than a quarter of your life la #justsaying. The only problem with me and you is the inevitable end. Your future is calling and I'm not interested in picking up. Remember when we were still living in our little bubble, pretending we would never have to come home and acknowledge our ghosts. And although it seems incredibly silly, I can't help but wish that #japan2014 would be just that.


It's a love story for the new age, for the six page, 
Want a quick, sick rampage?

But I can't deny the way he holds my hand

the problem is that I need to be with somebody who is obsessed with me #notevensorry

do you think we'll be in love forever?

Oh baby you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby I want you, I want you

perhaps fuck off might be too kind

The past couple of weeks have been much easier, now with our apartment for Tokyo settled (for now) most of the butterflies in my brain have been vanquished. On one hand, I truly worry about how we are going to get along squeezed into a tiny place for two, but on the other I don't mind at all. It's funny because I am both excited and dreading it at the same time. I have reservations about moving to a place like Tokyo. I guess shopping wouldn't be as amazing as if I had gone to Spain with the rest of them, but also japan is fucking amazing. But then again, #radiation. It's just about three weeks to our next (and final) adventure, before shit starts getting real. It's funny that I'm not clawing my way out of here this time, unlike the last time when I knew I needed to leave for the sake of my sanity. But then again, I felt that way coming home.. and was thankfully, proven wrong. I don't know if it's a part of getting older and more jaded, but I've begun to feel burgeoning skepticism about this place we call home. Some days I want nothing more than to lay in bed and watch our shows and play our games, but other days it makes me wanna crawl out of my skin. Everybody around me seems to be growing up and out while I am, for once, living a tamer life. What allows me to accept our comfortable, easy life now is that I know one day, however far from now, those carefree adventure days will come around again.


Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis

better off without me

some things I'll never know, I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone, feeling empty