In Loving Memory

Happy post V day. It's common knowledge that v day is a sham and I say that without resentment or bitterness. First of all, I've never realized how in your face people's declaration of love on social media was, which could either be due to instagram or the fact that we're older now and everyone seems to have already found the ones they are going to marry. And although I am so so so far from that, I feel like this V day was not romantic in the traditional sense of the word, but was truly meaningful. It's funny that I'm already 22 and I just only truly understood what it means to be there for somebody.Okay no, that is actually very untrue.. but it feels different somehow. The valuable thing to take away from this is not to take life and time and people for granted. What I fully believe is that this stranger's incredibly sad and touching story will probably stay with me for a long time. It's amazing to see the difference between someone that puts himself and his comforts over everything vs someone that truly tried to reach out. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to watch someone pass, even more so when there are unresolved issues. But that's me watching as a third party, I can't impossibly understand how any of that is or feels. I'm not even great at being an outsider looking in, sitting alone in a corner feeling abandoned and seething, thinking i ain't no wifey. Something's inside me has been very wrong the last few days and I can't wait to let it all out. I can't deal with this built up paranoia and tension and general poison.


Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try