Not gonna lie: Going to miss these days when everything falls apart. Tickets to Tokyo have been locked and loaded despite the constant fear and paranoia that we could get more than sick. The truth is I expect the worst from the trip, knowing that whatever unknown diseases are bound to hit us, but it seems there's nothing left to do. I truly fucking hope we don't regret this. Some things just can't get away with "well, we were young and foolish". I don't know. Best not to think about it until the time comes. Until then, I think it's about time we, or I, try to savour whatever time we have left together here, because who knows what will happen in the land of the rising sun. Or worse, when we get back. The other day a good friend asked, earnestly: "So is he the one?" and I scoffed almost immediately. It's funny the way I need you, either completely and entirely or not really at all. Some weeks we hardly spend any time apart, and other weeks... well. I know in a lot of ways you're detrimental to me, but I also think that in a lot of way you've somehow made me better, lighter, easier. For now anyway. That's all that matters I suppose.
Is it cruel or kind not to speak my mind,
and to lie to you rather than hurt you?
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