wknd grlfrnd

Post assignment week blitz-ed by. The previous one was spent hanging with the ants, obsessively messaging and pretending to avoid calls that last for hours talking about absolutely nothing. Certainly got too comfortable there. This week was worse, galavanting around town complaining about the heat, ridin' in cars, late night suppers and getting drunk on inappropriate weekdays #life. Last night while tangled in the sheets after horrible semi-drunk words spewed out of my mouth like air, an epiphany dawned upon me. First of all, I need to stop being such a mean cunt. No real excuse, but no real apologies either. That's just how I feel, so sue me. Not that you truly care anyway.. only a real man would. Staring right into your face as you looked up at me and those simple words parted from your lips, the bubble surrounding us broke and reality poured in. This is just what we are, this is simply the business we are in. This was never about me or her. This is about you and your search for whatever it is you are looking for. I spent this entire time thinking that the UK was our strawberry field but I was wrong and I was foolish. Nothing is real for you. See also: this. This whole time I've been so proud thinking, what a master I have become at escapism when the true champion was you. I understand the appeal of an age appropriate pixie, looking after you and your needs while still busking in the excitement of something fresh and or sneaking around. But I also understand the appeal of having something real, of feeling close to somebody and the comfort of a real relationship. Sure, relationship is a heavy word that will never come up between us but I don't mean it in a couple sense, I mean it in a human sense. I don't even think you know what that means.


give your reasons,
say it's not her fault