an angel in the garden of evil

You don't need much time with me to realize that my life is currently in an absolute mess. The worst decisions are the ones that hurt other people in the process - whether its ruining your relationship with them or worse, ruining their relationships. Perhaps the worst of all is that half of me truly believes: "why should I feel bad if they don't?" I spent years carrying the weight of unresolved guilt only to learn, after its broken my back, that it meant nothing. I don't need time away to get my life together, I need you. Not as a saviour to carry me till the next anchor.. No. I need you and your stoicism. I need to hear you tell me that my life isn't a mess and that things will get better for me when I want them to be. I need you to tell me you won't judge me for my past and all the mistakes I've made. I need you to believe in me so I can believe in myself. I need you to want me and not need me. I need you to make this all worth it because lately the only time I've felt like a proper person is when I'm lying in your arms.