Summer days, drifting away

The anxiety has not gone away. In fact, as the days draw nearer, it gets worse and worse. Growing feelings of dread and emptiness keeps me up half the night, ironically wasting half the morning. And I understand how this has exploded in my head but my posting has not given me any consolation either. In fact, it probably added fuel to the inferno that is already burning. What a fucking drama queen. Hurr. This week has seen me doing nothing at Chai Chee, waking up at four, an impromptu trip to East Cost, the long awaited Alice, spontaneous supper at Kovan, receiving mail, a new book and some very interesting trips. Still, I am craving for more. Preferably with less wholesomeness. Hawhaw. Also: it has proven too difficult to detach. This week, the questions have all been centered around the idea of company. Of it's importance, how it is often misconstrued as feelings of attraction and love and of course, the great lengths one would go to satisfy their emptiness. Lonely nights are universal. Desperation is also universal. It's how we choose to handle it that sets us apart. And somehow we all seem to do it the same way. Not that I am one to talk, of course, since it still keeps me up.

We'll still have the summer after all