Stepping Stone

Carnivore @ CHIJmes

Breakfast -> Town -> A billion boys in one room ~

26th January

Well. There really isn't much to brag about. Really. The past few weeks has seen me living in my head. Dreams are never just dreams. Somehow they always end up being the gateway to insecurities. And yet the ones I have been having are getting more realistic, therefore more disturbing. The cloud that forebodes the storm. I almost cannot wait for it to just happen so we can finally get over it. It's not the everyday things that really gets to me. The life, I really can live without. It is the way I am treated. Stop. Honestly, I feel like a fucking second-class citizen. And maybe I am. I really am not being ungrateful, I am just so tired of this pity party. Everything and anything could lead to something which may have been something but really was nothing so... why. And call it my own pet peeve but I am back to feeling unimportant again. Which is ironic if you really think about it, in more ways than one. I'm falling back into this system where I am always the one going there and being sorry and making conversation and trying and being patient and being understanding and saying no it is entirely my fault and being sorry and being snapped at and basically being second-class. This post will kill.

If I'm wrong, I am right