They don't know bout you and me

And after a slew of one-liners, I am back full and proper. Happy Birthday Pau! Post-exams mode and everything is moving in slow motion again. And I mean everything. Nothing new I reckon. Pffft. All this talk of the future, mine and ours, always gets me jittery and unfocused. To the shops, I say! Hawhaw. All I really wanted to do was to make sure we were clear on what's what and who's who. Then it started to strangely sting. Then I had to confront it. Oh okay con-side it. Hurhur I am so funny. Misery business, I tell myself (And misery is fucking right). Here's the truth: I don't believe in trust. Which is why I was there. Life is such an ironic see-saw. The race is over. My eye is swollen. My mind is spinning. Goodbye August, I hated you.

We could feel the poison set in

Pretty eyed girls

Leave my injuries all in the dust

thedayiwalkedoutofyourhousecosyocouldntwaitfiveminutesandshoutedatmeinfrontofyourfamilyandslammedthedoorinmyfacetwice

Even with our fists held high,
It never would've worked out right.
We were never meant for do or die.

Financial glitch in my plan la guys

A rollercoaster built to crash

Throw up, grow up

The walls have eyes and ears

GO SUCK ON COCK YOU FAT FUCK

I get tragically ill all too often. This weekend's scorching fever has done nothing but highlight the fact that I am just not brave enough to decide on something that could lead to any discomfort or shortcoming for myself. And by that I mean sucking it up and going to the damn hospital. I am afraid of needles okay; yeah my doctor finds it funny too. Speaking of which, all my piercings or more aptly non-piercings have decided to spontaneously erupt on me. And that leads us back to the fact that my body is really messed up right now. Amidst all the (literal) pain and anxiety as to whether or not I have bird flu, I am so completely and utterly unable to wrap my overheated mind around the amount of fucking bitterness oozing from your direction. The entity is only sinking in as I prepare myself for everything I am about to start. The kind of sick poisonous people I have in my life really corrode every fucking possible meaning of the word trust.


You had to leave and that's all I can see

I'm just a blonde bitch in bubbles

Maybe I just need some chaos to distract myself from the detachment I feel from everything that is slash was everything. Maybe baby. Oh and Lady Gaga says to fuck off. Hurr. This sense of quiet and calm I have nestled into so easily translates to the eerie and unwelcoming calm before the storm. And as the isolation from the outside world becomes more overwhelming and unbearable, I was forced to look inside to see. The corruption of ties stems from someone who can't even decipher what she needs and wants, someone with little sense of right and wrong, someone who wants to want everything. It's been almost a year since the first of September 2008 and to say I am fucking different is the understatement of the century. Everything I stood for has been cast aside in favor of... I don't even know anymore. This cyst is really hurting me.


But only far enough to make you miss me