Maybe it isn't enough.

You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around

Uh huh, that's right

I took your words and I believed
In everything you said to me

Yeah huh, that's right

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone..

I'd stand up and punch them out

Cause they're all wrong

I know better

Cause you said forever

And ever; Who knew?

Remember when we were such fools?

And so convinced and just too cool?

Oh no, no no
I wish I could touch you again

I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
'fore they're long gone

I guess I just didn't know how

I was all wrong
They knew better

Still you said forever

And ever; Who knew?

I'll keep you locked in my head

Until we meet again

(Until we, until we meet again)

And I won't forget you my friend

What happened?

If someone said three years from now

You'd be long gone

I'd stand up and punch them out

Cause they're all wrong and

That last kiss,

I'll cherish
Until we meet again

And time makes it harder

I wish I could remember

But I keep your memory

You visit me in my sleep

My darling; Who knew?

It's strange how we're all getting increasingly emotional these days.

It's safe to say that it has been an emotionally-tolling week. Not only have I yet to recover from the two papers at the beginning of the week, I, or rather WE have gotten back some of our results, which personally has fallen short of expectations. Seriously. Yet despite my little breakdown in class on Wednesday, I still have tons of pent up feelings that are causing me great distress. Fucking youth mission didn't help that either.

Everyone's reminiscing today. Really. It's cos of the letter-writing thing during youth mission I presume.. and also I think it suddenly hit lots of people today that we're probably never gonna see each other again. I mean, not people you're super close to you know? But people that we talk to everyday, that we laugh with and we make fun of, but not people whom you would tell secrets to, or even go out with. Those kind of people who have made a significant enough impact on your life to be remembered by the stupid tings they did and not by name 20 years down the road. These have always been the people I was upset about leaving, because I've already done it so many times. Heck. I've left all those people who were near and dear to me so many times over the years that we're complete strangers now. And that's just cos we went to a different class. Imagine what a different school could do to us? Abu always tells me that if I really want it to work, I can do it by taking the initiative to call them up and all. But people change. I change, you change, we all change. We all become different people. And even if by some crazy miracle we still have similarities, well.. sometimes the circumstances don't work.

Of course I'm not saying that I won't try. I already have a list of people that I HAVE to keep in contact with. But.. I don't know. Am I just being too cynical or am I being realistic? I can't even tell anymore. And to look back and think about all those lovelies who I have already left behind, it makes me question myself. I know it's always my fault. I'm always the one that moves on, and for that I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that we've lost everything that we had before, because those are memories that I will always treasure, even if thay make me wince now thinking about it(: I often wonder, if I have left so many people before, even those who were so important to me, why won't the people that I absolutely adore now eventually leave too? Sometimes I think I'm just being silly, but sometimes it won't stop bugging me. And I'm worried my loves, I'm worried that we'd all move on and not look back at the wonderful times we've had together, I'm worried that one day we won't recognise each other anymore, I'm worried that I'll never be able to call you my friends. And it saddens me beyond belief. It really does.

But I know we'll always have the memories. And that's why I hold on to them so tight, because I'm so afraid that if I let them go, I'd have nothing to show of my secondary school life except for my O level slip. That's not the kind of person I want to be anymore. So every now and then, my girlfriends and I gather together and (like today) we sit and we talk and we recall and laugh and cry over all the great times we've had together and the not-so-great times we've had. We don't always get the minute details correct, and sometimes we forget and need some prompting, but we always remember what the most important it was. That we always had fun together.

It's scary isn't it? To realise that one day they won't remember your name.

I love them. Really.

I'm crying now.