Hush little baby, don't you cry

Welcome back, motherfuckers.

Confess all the faith that I had in you.

There are just some things that should be left unsaid

Aaah where to even begin. Instability: the biggest understatement ever. Above was the day Sonia and I realized we were both horrible people, and didn't care. Then Halloween rolled by; last minute planning and genuine excitement. And surprisingly enough, it turned out to be a pretty spectacular night. Though I wished we were all actually in the same club. Hurr. This is not a fucking competition, mofos. And even more surprising, school isn't making me want to shoot myself in the head every second of the day, which is new. Hawhaw. Everything else seems to be flitting away way too easily. Family is a whole other level all together. This is killing me more than you even know. I refuse to accept anything as my fault. Drifts lead to nothing but decline and deterioration. Acting like I care leads to more repulsion. I'm just going with the fucking flow.

We're the new face of failure.

a year ago

I find it kinda funny,

I find it kinda sad.

We are turning into dust.

Reality doesn't impress me

Sometimes I feel like I've become so disconnected from the entire social scene that it is getting more and more difficult to do anything. Ish. Stupid comfort zone. The deeper I get, the more I see for myself that school is just another plastic world. Not that I didn't already know that. Sigh sigh, honey pie. I am regretting this elective choice already. And I am not being melodramatic! Okay fine, just a little. This weekend was an epic explosion. Endless fantasies, surprisingly simple places and colorful skies. Escaping reality brings so many consequences though. I think we need to get out more often. Hurhur. Time has such a way of twisting and turning itself into something we cannot fathom, something we cannot catch. To think, all I wanted was everything to stop spinning.

Rose, I'm feeling older.

Tell me that you love me more

Floating on the brink of everything isn't much fun at all. Deviating from feelings and real conversation leaves a gaping hole between me and the world. Late night messages mean nothing to me by morning. And maybe they mean nothing to you at all. Nights are filled with internal battles. Fleeting moments of fear and unfulfilled desire for companionship. Days are spent having empty conversation and not-going-to-school. Bleak. Once again I have proved myself the least filial child. Oops. Everyday company is no where near as important to me as non-everyday company. Maybe this is what they call the dreaded drift. Or maybe this is just me isolating myself. Or maybe it really isn't me at all. Hurhur. This isn't a blame game, this is just me searching for the truth, the source of this emptiness. Disinterest is a two-way street, I must admit. Insomnia is so fucking damaging.

We all look like we feel.