Perhaps I have finally come to an impasse between my mind and my heart. Honestly, I am fucking conflicted about how to feel. I am truly angry, and yet I somehow feel strangely calm and disconnected from the whole thing. You just had to do it, you just had to tell me. What the fuck is wrong with you? I can't keep believing you, and buying into this I'm so god damn innocent act. I can only take so much. I know I'm not anything to shout about, believe me I know this, but.. god damn it mang. I wanted so fucking badly to believe that maybe this is something good, that I finally have something in my life to really put my faith in. I know that was my own fault, since there hasn't really been a reason to think so. But I really felt that maybe you really did love me. And that maybe, just maybe, I really do love you. But what the fuck does that even mean? I know that this is the sign I've been looking for. I know this. This has just become fact at this point. But, I'm just not fucking ready.
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