so this is the new year

2013 was actually a pretty damn good year. I let go of a lot of negativity I've been harbouring for years, kinda sort of fell in love but also like not really, lived abroad, travelled and experienced so many new and different places and perhaps the most surprising of all, actually made some new friends. Here's to hoping that 2014 will be as good, if not better.

may all your troubles soon be gone

Just a quick one because #christmas. The above depicts a flurry of activities in the +65, generally enjoying our lives and avoiding assignments. Taiwan was an interesting adventure but that's, once again, a story for another day. This year feels much lighter than the last, with the exception of the first couple of days I've been home. I'm sorry I've been acting crazy and over-sensitive and psychotic because I know we have a long way to go and I should really refrain myself from ruining what we have with my psychotic thoughts. Interestingly enough, I spent a good portion of last night flipping through pages from 2007 and came to the realization that I'VE ALWAYS BEEN CRAZY. Apparently, every little thing makes me question people's intentions and I often irrationally believe that the world is against me. Although I'm fucking certain I have a better control over myself now that I'm older, since I know now that not everything revolves around me.. LOL joking. But seriously though. Another thing I've learnt is that apparently, I've always always been obsessed with her #whuuuut #whoknew. But that's besides the point I suppose. Actually no, let's address this for a moment. This year is infinitely different from the last because I am no longer battling demons from my past and am instead, making polite conversations with genuine intentions. Right this instance, Yellow is playing and I am thinking of the time we made the crazy and rash decision to walk a long fucking walk home and feeling absolutely wistful. I've always maintained that I love you and care for you and that will never change, but it's finally stemming from a healthy place now. As for her.. well. She'll always remain an enigma. But back to the main topic, my psychotic-ness. Before I left, I was a real bundle of nerves. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think, wrecking myself over the thoughts of distances and.. let's face it, infidelity. But when I was there, everything escaped me. Or well, I escaped everything. The negativity couldn't get to me and I finally let go of my anxiety and suspicion because.. whatever the fuck for? Whatever fucking happens happens man, be it me or you or whatever whoever. Right now, all I can think to do is focus on now and myself and what we have, not what we could have or what could happen. Mainly because I couldn't handle it, but also because: whatever the fuck for? #japan2014


Oh Christmas lights, light up the streets
Light up the fireworks in me

curiosity becomes a heavy load

My anxiety is rooted in the fact that you still held on to her as if nothing changed, while you built a home in my bed. 

you're his favourite worst nightmare

It's been a trying week (and it isn't even over yet). The past two weekends have been spent un-memorably with passing deadlines and much yearning. The weekdays were spent casually drinking, playing drunk guitar hero and going on joyrides. Excuse my inability to form coherent sentences, this emotional hangover is casting a cloud over my mind. What a questionable night. First of all, I sometimes think that buu is the best kind of friend there is. Or always. There's no simpler way to put it than to say that I miss you, because I do. I don't know how it's been so long since the last time.. but I guess there has never been a lack of time and distance between us. And I don't even mean it in a romantic way, I also miss just hanging out with you. Nostalgia? Maybe this time last year, or the year before. But it feels different this time.. like it's more than just the shroud of wistfulness. I hope I don't sound crazy.. because I am. I can't handle how emotional I am right now #pms And the next one.. I don't know where to start. It's amazing to think that it's actually almost been a year since that time you did that thing when we were at that place because up until last night, I have been, quite frankly, fairly smitten with you. And then. "It's a push and pull thing". Those words still ring in my mind. It wasn't so much a glass shattering moment because I actually knew it before you said it. I know what kind of person you are - you're the kind of person that doesn't understand what a good thing is. To be fair, I'm like that as well. I too desperately want things I cannot have, only to obtain it and realize it meant nothing at all. What disgusts me is that those words fell from your lips mere moments after the world's most undesirable words. Do you really think you love me? Now for the prize: do you really think I respect you?


Curiosity becomes a heavy load
Too heavy to hold, too heavy to hold

your hands around my neck

In my imagination you're waiting, lying on your side

With your hands between your thighs and a smile

(and I like you)

We're never done with killing time,

Can I kill it with you?

'Til the veins run red and blue.

We come around here all the time,

Got a lot to not do, let me kill it with you.

we aren't caught up in your love affair

This year has absolutely flown past and it's been nothing short of amazing