the scars of your love

A lot of emotional turmoil going on. Hong Kong was a ton of fun but I have too many things on my mind that I need to sort through. I don't know why I'm so tired from doing nothing, but I am. All these years of my life spent pining.. and for what? A revelation from my dearest girl about one.. the One. Pfft. I would chastise your naive beliefs in the One and "this is it" crap if I didn't believe in it too. Oh to be young and full of hope. I miss that. Sipping tea and deciding that it's finally time for me to let all of this go. Now that I finally know, I finally have the answers of our lost love and all that crap. Initially, I really was insanely angry at you for telling me because, how selfish can you get (also, why does no one pay for their own cab fare anymore?) but now I think that maybe it helps. Because at least I know, right? At least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering why. Though to be fair, your reasoning still makes little to no sense to me.. I don't know. The weird thing is that I'm exactly the same as you and you're exactly the same as you used to be. How is that possible for one to stay so stunted? I just think I've been through too much to go back to that. You don't want this either, it won't make sense. The years have come between us. I can't settle down (clearly) and neither can you. It's just kind of fucked up that I've suddenly lost all interest now that I've "found my answer" Soooo... that's it?

I can't help myself from looking for you