I'm just a blonde bitch in bubbles

Maybe I just need some chaos to distract myself from the detachment I feel from everything that is slash was everything. Maybe baby. Oh and Lady Gaga says to fuck off. Hurr. This sense of quiet and calm I have nestled into so easily translates to the eerie and unwelcoming calm before the storm. And as the isolation from the outside world becomes more overwhelming and unbearable, I was forced to look inside to see. The corruption of ties stems from someone who can't even decipher what she needs and wants, someone with little sense of right and wrong, someone who wants to want everything. It's been almost a year since the first of September 2008 and to say I am fucking different is the understatement of the century. Everything I stood for has been cast aside in favor of... I don't even know anymore. This cyst is really hurting me.


But only far enough to make you miss me

When your will is broken

I want to pull away when the dream dies,

The pain sets in and I don't cry.

I only feel gravity and I wonder why.

sexfromlastnight

The burden we lull around with heavy hearts and heavier eyes can get so taxing sometimes. Minute details and tiny slip-ups go unnoticed for days on end and suddenly everything starts falling apart. And all too typically, I begin to lose sight and interest well before the finish line. Ish. What I lack in patience, I make up for with jealousy and competitiveness. Somehow that always goes hand-in-hand. The whole week has just been watching everyone else show us up and, as it is in my incredibly envious nature, left me sore and sour. And poisonous ftw. School and life = Bleak beyond words. There really isn't much to say (there never seems to be anymore) except that I might just be living out what I have feared the most: youth being wasted on me. How do you draw the line between never feeling like anything is good enough and it actually not being adequate? I have a cyst I cannot get rid of.

You want what you can't have

BLAND

I'm changing all the colors

From the brightest reds to grays

Yeah intelligent input darling

Somehow things never seem to get as bad as expected; I have either perfected the art of over-exaggerating or I am just an incredibly lucky bastard. But then again I might just be speaking too soon but this is more fun than BMR so.. what the hell. Hurr. Money truly makes the world go round. And round and round and round. We'll be here once again I can bet, neglected and abandoned but always remember darling: This circle never ends. On a related/unrelated note, I feel freedom fast approaching yet at the same time I remain chained down by irresponsibility and stupidity. And school. Hawhaw. Epic wasted weekend; maybe everything is just happening way too often. We're too close now.

Me, and my head high