"don't tell anyone anything"

It's ridiculous how easily I lose interest in.. everything. I really should stop being such a terrible person. I know that a big part of this is probably me overthinking/hoping/wishing that the world revolves around me. Well. It doesn't.. but my world does. Lol. Fucking joke. Interestingly enough, I find my own interest in this waning. It really was that glass shattering moment when I realised that everybody is simply chasing the flavour of the month. Right O. It's not that I didn't know it before, it's really that I didn't want to believe that everybody is simply this way. The honest version is that I didn't wanna believe that for a split second there, I was simply the new kid on the block. Meh. Whatever, I don't care anymore. LOL okay that's another joke right now. Ugh I hate this shit. I'm way too old for this. I wish I wasn't such a crazy, jealous person. I don't even have a fucking reason to feel cheated, and yet. If anything, this situation only highlights how fucked up a person I am. I know that this isn't real and I know that nothing will ever come out of this (whatever nothing this is.. as it has always turned out to be). I know we'll both lose interest, we'll run out of things to say, run out of things to kind of feel but not really. Everybody's in it for the attention. That's it. By everybody, I really fucking mean anybody. All of them. All of us. We're all just selfish people, trying desperately to feed our overblown egos. There's no sentiment in anything at this age, no sense of honest emotion, of true connection. There's only a person that gives you the attention you want and the person that doesn't give you the attention you want. Perhaps the surprising thing is that sometimes, they are the same fucking person.