circa two thousand whenever

you don't want me,

you just like the attention

remind me to spend some good time with you

All around a good weekend spent with the boy and with my family. That day at Gardens was the first time in a long time I've seen my grandmother and grandfather so happy.. laughing, smiling at the sights and just being out of the house. Definitely warm memories. Sunday night and I'm almost dreading the coming week. Work has been getting harder. I'm learning to be independent, but yeah it's pretty difficult. I'm determined to be less careless and anxious and terrible, but it's fucking demoralizing sometimes. I mean, it's definitely not all bad. Perhaps I'm just coming off a crappy week. But whatever. I must be better. In other news, the last week has been peppered with.. I can't think of a snarky name for it. Honestly, I've just come to the point where I'm like just do whatever you want, I don't care if you just want to win. I know you never have good intentions but I just don't care anymore because I know I can never win with you. Whatever, it doesn't bother me. It. doesn't. bother. me.

with some other girl

there's a million reasons to leave

Find a job, find a friend
Find a home, find a dog
Settle down, out of town
Find a dream
Shut it down

or do you not think so far ahead?

I'm so tired, this weekend just zoomed right past. Today's hangover only reminded me how over all of this I am. Although last night was good (clean) fun, I'm quite glad it's no longer a weekly thing. I've been thinking about the future a lot lately, all aspects of it. I don't know where I'm going to be, but I kinda hope I'll be with you. I know I've been judgemental and terrible, but I guess at the end of the day I just want you to do what you wanna do. Anyway, does it really make a difference to me now? I love spending time with you, and I kinda hope that things never change.. but how realistic is that? Some part of me is so over being realistic and practical and safe. Sometimes your idealistic and carefree ways annoy the hell out of me, but at the end of the day, I do think it provides a nice and much needed balance to my crazy uptight personality. So that's nice. I know nothing is ever as it seems and nobody knows that the future holds, but it's nice to dream a little.

round and round each time

he says, what you've heard it's true but
I can't stop thinking about you and
I said I've been there too a few times

happy 1st of june