I think I will miss you.

meaningless

It's just like you to come and go

And know me, no you don't even know me

You're so sweet to try, oh my, you caught my eye

you use the future to escape the present

Life of a bum. I wish I could say I use the future to escape the present, but I don't. When the hot topic question arises, I press my lips together and meekly answer that I still haven't decided. How embarrassing. I can't be the person to squander my time and youth, but I am really caught in quite a dilemma. This life of a bum thing is really showing me that I really lack discipline nowadays, it's horrible. From small things to constantly being late to not being able to commit to things to not wearing a bra, I really feel like I am getting to be a bit of a mess again. But never as much as you of course, fucking coward. This chinese guilt thing is also getting to me (though I am going anyway). Reflects a lot on my character; what's the point of feeling so horrible about things but doing it anyway? Kase in point. Last night saw dreams imitating real life, circa 2009. Could've been the wine or just the constant moral battle I have within myself... but I live it anyway. See. Having said that, I also battle myself on whether or not I should enjoy myself in the present. On one hand, the most consistent thing you've ever said is I don't lie and you (and your posse of douches) do deserve the mockery, kid. On the other hand, you do seem decent enough (ish) and I myself want to enjoy the highs of a fresh relation, although I am getting slightly bored already. "Just make sure it doesn't boomerang around and hit you in the face" Hmm. Am I really too cautious/mistrustful? I do love that you're so carefree (does that mean you don't care?) especially when I hear others regale tales about possessiveness or neediness. Only time will tell I reckon.

this heart will never be yours

Sunday's best

I find myself really enjoying these new experiences and all the new things I am learning through and about you.

down and vulnerable

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before

Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all

who are you to make me feel so good?

As you can see, it truly has been a string of lovely days. On one hand, I really do need to learn to be a better person because my luck seems to be running out, ever since that backfired on me (get it get it). Definitely my own mistake (I'm just roaming around like a lost... well.) but it bruised my ego more than anything. Still, I'm having a really nice time really between the girls and the boy. Except for the frustration but I've really got to learn self-control anyway. Speaking of which, fuck you you're the heartless one. Tsk. This week saw a lot of reminiscing about the past, my own to be exact. Well, actually ours, ironically. I am a pervy old man. ): I realized that I am endlessly fascinated by relationships, albeit really quite faithless. Circle of life and all that. I see it happening simply because 1) these things always happen to me 2) it's too ironic for it not to happen. Well. I guess only time will tell. Anyway, back to other disappointments. I know it's none of my business but it really made me so sad just to hear it. I never thought you were capable of that, the same way I truly did believe I wasn't capable of it myself. Which then makes me question other people's capabilities to do so. And watching Closer didn't really help. I've always been fascinated by how attraction works and why people are attracted to others. The way I was so attracted to you the moment I laid eyes on you. I wonder what it is; I hate to admit this but to me you really are quite magnetic. Fate, I guess. How corny is that. Though it seems barely enough at the moment, I worry about when I finally lose it. But for now, yeah?

Who am I to say I'm always yours?

it's not me, it's you

This will never be enough simply cos

you don't give me enough