in my room and everywhere else

I've got a burning desire for you baby

what it means to be unreliable

Life is only complicated when you complicate it with feelings and other halves and what not.

brats

The truth is most of me is pissed off because I know you will always choose her over me.

we started the fire

come on cherry cherry, you're still very young

and we've only just started having fun

though it may be too late

The last few months I have spent abroad have been nothing less than amazing. Coming to thee from the Eternal City, I am filled with both gratitude and a creeping sense of homesickness. This is bigger than me and you, whoever and whichever you I am referring to. My life is not hard. I am so lucky to have had the experiences and opportunities that I have been provided with and for that I will always be eternally grateful. On most part, to my parents, without whom I will truly have nothing. But also to the people in my life who have made it what it is, whether a close friend or a good lesson. Italy has been nothing short of fabulous so far but as i sit in this cold hotel lobby, i am missing the security of home, both in a place and in a person. Between you and me, what is now is now and not forever. The only thing I can dare to ask for is to once again believe in the idea and restore the faith i once had that there are things in life (outside of one's family) that are true and real, eternal even. All I need is a sign.

AMSD > MLN > RME > VNC > LDN > U

the roads I knew became a city

and I wonder, will you wait for me?

let's roll just like we used to

Greetings from the Netherlands! The above is our solo weekend trip to London for fun and folly, if you know what I mean. Thank god for friends. Last weekend's distance have been more than made up for with a deadly question I was too proud to admit to. This vacuum of time and space thing is such a double-edged sword. An endless string of languid, cosy nights doing everything and absolutely nothing. As per my life, words that were spoken in the heat of the champagne have not and will probably not be revisited. I'm not sure if running to London like spoilt kids was a smart or dumb choice. On one hand, it was truly lovely finally having the time to explore places outside of the city but on the other hand (you have different fingers), spending that kind of time together is always an invitation for trouble ie dirty beds and dirty streets. Well, at least showers are clean. Lol. I don't even know anymore. I'm so tired of pretending not to see or know things and tired of acting as if the fact that you have your own life doesn't bother me the way that it does, especially when I suddenly find myself abandoned at the sidewalk only to hide in a cafe to make an overseas confession. The next two weeks brings more than just the usual anxiety of being away from home-ish because of the involvement of the third factor. Well actually that would be me hahaha no. The problem is I have this notion that nothing beats having something to come home to. Case in point: the day away after the day you took a look into my real life. I'm beginning to question the meaning of too close for comfort because there is no such thing as too comfortable. Amazingly (and I say this with genuine surprise), you've been running through my mind like a little white rabbit set into the wild. I have screwed myself over either way. I know that everything will all melt away when winter turns into hot burning summer, despite what your eyes say or the way you stroke my hair because that is simply the way that Life is. But because I (still) have no sense of being an adult and thinking of long term considerations, the one question on my mind is: what happens in springtime?


Here comes the morning where I'll say goodbye
But I won't turn around cos the reason is treason