take me round this roundabout

Where to start? Life of a bum in full swing again, though I guess that never really ended. So much talk about life decisions and school and what not. Sometimes I really take things for granted. I guess that's what happens when things just come too easily. It's amazing what others go through and I am forever grateful. For everything. Anyway, I think that perhaps I have a social problem.. LOL perhaps. It weird that I feel like I need it just as much. I find myself fluctuating between relatively satisfied and indifferent. I know that isn't enough because I still can't sleep at night. I know it's not enough because it's still you and I'm still stuck. I know it's not enough because I'm still looking for something better. Just keeping my options open. Sometimes I think that maybe I just need a nice boy... but maybe not. I just want to feel like someone loves me, I guess. I don't really know what I'm saying. Life's just not fun if you don't love somebody.

With you gone, I'm alive

Makes me feel like I took happy pills

Trying to pick up the pace

Trying to make it so I never see your face againTime to throw this awayWanna make sure that you never waste my time again

I won't cry for you

I really can't care to bother about it except to think "everything is great when you don't give a fuck"

I've been a fool and I've been blind,

I can never leave the past behind,

I can see no way, I can see no way.

I'm always dragging that horse around,

And our love is pastured such a mournful sound,

Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

you can’t love anything more than something you miss

promise you'll remember

Admittedly, a fabu weekend; the prelude to exam week. Good job. Studying is a chore that I have forgotten how to do. I am very thankful that so far the papers have been manageable and I can only hope that I will not be so lazy when the course actually starts. "If you don't understand this, it's your own fault cos you didn't listen in class" - note to self: stop being such a smartass. Hurhur. Life certainly has its way of turning back around on you. The most annoying thing is when you realize that you put yourself there in the first place. I can't seem to shake this feeling today - remorse, hopelessness. Everyday, it seems, brings a new reminder that the distance between us grows and grows. Except... that doesn't exist anymore. Every thought, every breath is just another one that brings me further and further away from the only thing that made me feel... Aaaand this is why I can't have anything real because I simply can't handle it. I look at everything I have and although I am eternally grateful for the life I am lucky enough to have and the stuff I am fortunate enough to own, I wonder: does this make me one of those people? Those people who base their happiness on their material wealth because that's all they have? Those people we used to hate? Is that really what I've become..? Because that's really just.. so sad.

I was like, no please stay here

we don't need money

sick as c-cancer

I just want it like before
we were dancing all night
then they took you away- stole you out of my life
you just need to remember